


Helpless

by FlickerInTheDark



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cute, Dating, F/M, Fluffy, Love, Marriage, Romance, Weddings, characters look like the actors, characters sound like the actors, courting, original broadway, relationship, sex later on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 11:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7681810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlickerInTheDark/pseuds/FlickerInTheDark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fluffy series detailing Eliza Schuyler's and Alexander Hamilton's courtship and marriage. How they both come together and grow to be a strong couple and people. Note: will get a bit more graphic in later chapters but nothing too graphic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Spotlight

**Author's Note:**

> So this will be a very lighthearted and fluffy series. This is the story of Eliza and Alexander's courtship and eventual marriage. I played around with the timeline and events. Note all characters will look and dress like the original Broadway cast. Enjoy!

"But Angelica, I don't wish to go," I said to my sister as we were dressing. Dressing up for things always made me a bit uneasy because I had no idea about fashion and always felt as though I was in the wrong type of dress.

"Eliza, love, you must go. This ball is meant to find us a husband and I am sure it will be fun," Angelica said brushing my hair.

"But you know how I am. I'm shy and never have the correct words like you do," I said fidgeting.

"Well, you never will unless you get to practice," Angelica said with a bobby pin between her teeth.

"I will be an old spinster like our great aunt," I shuddered.

"Listen, I shall help you. If you see a man, I will help you get acquainted. How does that sound?" Angelica asked kissing me on the check.

I nodded.

Suddenly our third sister rushed in.

"Which gown do you think is best?" Peggy said in a rush. Peggy had recently been called pretty by some young gentleman and was now very self conscious of how she looked.

"I think the yellow one," I said turning around mid brush stroke.

"Hey stay still! I agree with your restless sister, the yellow would look lovely on you," Angelica said.

"Are you sure?" Peggy asked, "I wouldn't want to look the fool around him."

"You couldn't possibly look foolish," I said taking the other dress and handing it to a maid who was passing by the room.

"Quite sure. Who is this gentleman you so eagerly want to impress?" Angelica asked.

"Oh, a man I saw in the streets this past week," Peggy said slipping behind the changing screen

"Aaron Burr?" I said cocking an eyebrow at Angelica.

"Eliza, you shan't mention his name or you Peggy. He is a man who is so secretive yet boisterous about his advances," she said, "He should not be trusted."

"No not Burr. Don't worry," Peggy smiled coming out from behind the screen. The yellow did look lovely and I knew this man would think so too.

"Thank goodness. But who? Come over here and let me brush down your fly-aways," Angelica said motioning for Peggy to sit where Eliza had been sitting.

"John Laurens," Peggy said bashfully.

"No. Really?" I said putting earrings in.

"Yes. He was so sweet to me. He handed me a pamphlet and said I looked lovely," Peggy squealed.

Angelica and I shared a secret glance. A glance that said,  _there she goes again._

Peggy was the most boy crazy girl in the family. If any man so much as acknowledged her existence she was head over heels for him.

"Oh goodness, it's almost time!" Angelica said flitting about checking herself.

That night the ball had commenced. I stood quietly making polite conversation to many people and dancing with many, but none struck my fancy. I was thinking the night was over when I saw a man. This man was medium height and seemed to walk with uncertainty. He was wearing the familiar continental army uniform that so many were wearing this night

"Eliza?" Angelica said coming over and noticing my distant look.

"Yes?"

"I see you are looking at that man over there," Angelica said pointing.

"I suppose I was," I said blushing, "don't point, he'll see us!"

"Isn't that what you want?"

"Yes."

"You should go talk to him. I've shared a word with him and he seems reputable," Angelica whispered.

"Oh, I couldn't. He would think me a mouse in comparison to himself. He wouldn't want to spend a moment with me," I said. Secretly I wanted to know him, but hadn't the courage.

"Give me a moment won't you, "Angelica said patting my arm and walking towards the man.

_What is she doing? She said she would help me but now she's talking to him._

Angelica seemed to be striking up quite the conversation with this man. He seemed to be quite interested in what she was saying.

_I am done for. What is she going to do?_

Suddenly I saw Angelica was leading the man over to my area.

In a rush I said, "Elizabeth Schuyler. It's a pleasure to meet you." I

"Schuyler?" he said looking back at Angelica.

"My sister," Angelica smiled.

"Thank you for your service," I said holding out my hand.

He kissed it softly and said " If it takes fight a war a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it."

"I'll leave you to it," Angelica said exiting at the right moment.

"Elizabeth, I have not properly introduced my self. I am Alexander Hamilton," he bowed.

"Oh do call me Eliza," I said.

"Eliza you look lovely," he said looking me in the eye. No one had ever looked at me as though I was pretty.

"Thank you," I said smiling.

"Would you do me the honor and allow me a dance?" he said holding out his large hand.

"That would be lovely," I responded with lightness in my voice I was not used to.

We danced and it seemed everyone had their eyes on us. Angelica shot me a smile and Peggy who was also dancing joined us to form the circle part of the dance.

The night was seemingly perfect.

That evening in my room I was filled with a warmth that I am sure Angelica is used to with her many suitors. I had placed my dress on the chair and wished I had looked a little nicer. If I had known such a man would walk into my life I might have taken more care. I went to bed with the stars aligned and a feeling that maybe he was the one.

The next day my sisters and I were all in the foyer. I was practicing piano, Angelica reading the pamphlets she received the other day and Peggy looking into a mirror examining her supposed imperfections.

"My Eliza, it seems as you have a letter," our father said coming into the room with a letter.

"For me?" I questioned. I never received letters. Angelica was the only getting letters sealed with wax.

He handed me the letter. The letter did not bare a seal but I did not care. Like a bee to a flower my sisters rushed around me. I suddenly felt as though this was meant to be private and I held the letter close to my chest.

"Please let us have a look, " Peggy said in a faux whinny voice.

"All right but let me read it first," I said.

_Dearest Elizabeth Schuyler,_

_I know allowed me to call you Eliza this past evening but it seems in writing your name should be written in the fullest. I hope my immediate letter has not startled you, but I had to write to you before the image of that night has left me._

_You were resplendent and you have warmed my thoughts with your beauty. Let last night not be the last time I see you and that I may continue to write to you._

_Most Sincerely,_

_Hamilton_

"Well?" Peggy said trying to pry the paper from my hands.

"Needless to say, he enjoyed last night," I said coyly.

But my coyness didn't last long. In fact, I dropped the act almost 10 minutes later

"When should I see him again?"

"Well father will be having another event next month, in celebration of the men going to war," Angelica said not looking up from her reading, "but I don't know. I have not read the letter so I don't know if he is even worth seeing again."

"Fine, " I said passing the letter over. She read it and her eyes lit up.

"My goodness. I do think you should see him again! His writing alone is brilliant," Angelica said handing the letter to Peggy. Peggy gasped and looked at me with eyes of longing.

"Next month seems like forever!" I sighed resuming the piano.

"I think it is good. Gives you both time to think on last night and to not be to hasty," Angelica advised.

"You could always write him back," Peggy mused.

"I wouldn't want to seem too eager," I replied.

"Eliza, don't be a passive woman! What have I always told you?" Angelica said looking up.

"You always say to stand up for yourself and use your words," I said in a monotone.

"Don't sound so bored! As a woman if you want something like say a man, you must talk to him! You do not want a man who likes a quiet woman and expects her to just go along with what he says, trust me!" Angelica said matter-of-factly.

So I decided to write him.

_Dearest Alexander Hamilton,_

_Your letter came and I was content. I wish to keep in contact as the next time I might see you is next month. My father is having another event and I do hope you will be invited._

_I too had a lovely time with you. You seemed to be a man not like the one's I had been introduced to before. I wish to know you more as letters are passed._

_Adieu,_

_Eliza Schuyler._

"Done!" I said sealing the letter.

 


	2. Writing a Letter Nightly

One week later I was writing a letter nightly. But that paled in comparison to the many letters Alexander wrote me. It seemed he wrote two a day because I always received one letter a day.

Dearest Elizabeth,

Only 3 more weeks until I shall see you again. Excuse the amount of letters you will have received. I hope this pace isn't displeasing to you. If you should think I am being too liberal with my letters, I shall stop immediately. Just tell me when. It is just so many wonderful thoughts come into my head I must share with you.

But I have written too much about myself. Please tell me how you are. I hope your life in New York is quite nice. I am currently stationed down south and quite miss New York and you. I do wish you and your family well.

Yours,

Alexander Hamilton

I was writing so much I often sequestered myself think up just the right words. I did not want to waste precious paper and ink with nonsense. Father had always taught us to never write anything down unless it could be erased.

My thoughts were filled with him. I longed to have a proper conversation with him face to face and see his reaction. The first conversation I was just filled with the nuance and wasn't in the right mind. I wanted to talk to him about who he was and what he stood for. My distraction was so bad Peggy replaced my powder with flour as a trick.

"Peggy!" I said turned around. I knew it was she because she was the little trickster; Angelica had called her a little monkey when we were younger.

"Yes?" she answered sweetly.

"Why is there flour in my powder?" I asked a bit harshly. I quickly wiped the flour off of my face, I looked foolish.

"Angelica and I made I bet that you were so distracted that couldn't notice. I was right," Peggy said in a loud voice.

"Why are you shouting?" Angelica asked coming into the room.

"She put the flour on her face!" Peggy giggled.

"Eliza you really must be more focused," Angelica gently scolded, "I thought the best of you. That my grounded sister wouldn't be carried off into fairy tales and look where it got me." She cocked an eyebrow at me and then grinned.

"What you owe me," Peggy said holding out her hand.

"Fine," Angelica said leaving, returning and handing her a small candy. Angelica had received a box of sweets from a suitor and kept them in hiding. She knew this winter was dull and we would try to find them.

"I know but I cannot help it. You must know what it is like," I said as Peggy handed me my face powder and began to apply it.

"Actually no," she said nonchalantly.

"Really?" I paused. She had a million suitors; surely one had sent her into oblivion.

"Yes."

"But what about that lad a few months back or this most recent suitor?"

"Nope."

"But their gifts," Peggy sighed.

"I do not care what they give me, it will not change my mind," Angelica said folding her arms.

"But you've spoken to loads of gentleman, one must have caught your fancy," I pressed.

"Eliza I am looking for a mind at work and thus far I have found nothing but sponges."

It was true I realized, as soon as any man was seen he was just as soon gone. My sister was the oldest and wittiest and the biggest gossip of the city, but she seemed to have control of every situation. I wished that were I. but perhaps I could be witty in my letters.

Dearest Alexander,

I too miss you. My sisters and I are managing here and wish you well. Here in New York, the winter is quite harsh. I hope you are warm wherever you are. But please spare a thought for me and perhaps you might feel my warm thoughts.

Please continue with the letters as it is all that keeps me engaged in these long dull winter days. My sister Angelica says that she has read Common Sense by Thomas Paine and she finds him to be quite inspiring. She wishes you to real some of Voltaire's work if you have the opportunity.

Yours,

Elizabeth Schuyler

My sisters noticed I was often alone in my room writing and so they often accompanied me there.

"Eliza you mustn't alienate yourself. You will see him soon," Peggy said pulling on my arm to move me from my desk.

"Peggy, it is dark, cold and frankly dismal. All I have is his letters," I mumbled, I was in the middle of a letter and was trying to think of something new that was happening. But if the only thing interesting that happened is I found a dead mouse then perhaps I wouldn't send this letter.

"You know I have been reading a book about the Arabia and Persia. It says some of the cultures had harem. We could form a harem," Angelica mused looking my direction

"Ha!" I laughed. But Angelica did seem to think about Alexander as much as I did. In fact, he often sent her a letter in addition to mine. Those letters debated politics and the nature of religion. They quite bored me but they made Angelica happy.

"I'm just saying if you really loved me you would share him," Angelica pouted.

It was my birthday in a few days and my sister Angelica bought me a large beautifully painted box.

"It is to store your letters," she said.

I needed it. My letters were piling up on my desk and were getting dirty from ink spots that accidentally dripped from my quill. This box was so thoughtful. It was oak with tiny blue flowers painted on the edge.

Dearest Elizabeth,

Happy Birthday! I hope this letter arrives sometime near your birthday but either way I wish you the best birthday regardless of the day you might read it. I write to you with great sorrow I am not there to be with you on this day. I wish I had a gift for you but when I see you I shall give you a gift then. I will give you something you cannot fathom. I hate to be so far from you at such a joyous time.

I apologize for this letter to be so short but paper and ink rations are low and I must save mine for the war effort. I shall either write to you when I can or I shall see you as planned.

Yours,

Alexander Hamilton

And that was it. I did not receive any more letters. I sent one daily as per usual but I received no word. It got much worse when we all learned the ball would not be until spring. The troops were snowed in for the winter and the war kept them away. It burned my heart to not hear or see him

Weeks went on and no response. This winter was even harsher than usual. Everyone's rations were low and my letters were also rationed. I hoped Alexander was not suffering too much.


	3. My Heart Went Boom!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ship Peggy and John Laurens because Anthony Ramos and Jasmine Cephas Jones are so cute together. Another fluffy installment, so if cheesy romance is not your thing I direct you to some of my more serious works. Reminder I modeled the dress and looks of characters after the original cast. These are my interpretations of the characters, which may seen OOC but are how imagine them. Please excuse any historical inaccuracies/slightly modern speech, most are intentional to further the plot or simply be enjoyable. Enjoy.

It was finally Spring. I had not heard from Alexander or his platoon. It flickered through my mind that he might be dead.  _No I cannot think this until I have proof. Be rational!_ But at night a letter announcing his death pervaded my dreams. But I was being foolish, I had barely had a conversation with him and yet I cannot stop thinking about him. The ball was tomorrow and the moment of truth would appear. Tomorrow I could put my silly thoughts to rest and finally return to who I was. I was not this girl who swooned over men. I was a shy girl who kept to herself and not Angelica.

Over the winter I had been busily fixing up an old gown. I hadn't the heart or desire to ask for a new gown when soldiers went without proper winter clothes. So I fixed up my blue gown and added green to spruce it up a bit. My sisters did the same and we looked brilliant.

That night I tossed and turned.  _Don't get you hopes up!_ That winter many of my father's friends had lost loved ones in this war or simply never got any news. So instead I thought about what I would say to him. Perhaps "Oh how I missed you dear!" or "I perished without thee!" But no, I would probably flounder over my words and besides that wasn't what I sounded like.

The next morning was chaos. My sisters and I spent the day in Angelica's chambers because she was the oldest and had the biggest room and mirror.

"Did you eat?" Angelica asked after my stomach had made a quiet unappealing sound.

"No," I responded.

"Eat!" Angelica said pushing a biscuit in my direction.

"I can't. I wont fit into my dress."

"Don't be foolish! You couldn't gain a pound with all of your worrying and flitting about these past weeks. Besides you will feel sick and you wouldn't want to finally reunite with his gentleman not feeling your best, hmm?" Angelica said.

I ate the biscuit in part because I was a bit peckish and it would quiet Angelica's motherly instinct, while lovely could be suffocating under high stress environments. Angelica always became like a hawk whenever events came up. I knew it was because our mother never really mothered us and Angelica just wanted to make sure we were taken care of.

"Ugh! I hate corsets," Peggy said stiffly walking over to us.

"I do too! Perhaps we won't wear 'em," I said teasing.

"Both of you," Angelica said pointing at both of us.

"Don't worry Angelica," Peggy said.

"I know. It is just this night has been in the works for sometime. I would hate for these men to come back to chaos," Angelica said pinning her hair back. This was maybe the 5th time she did this. Angelica despite her self-confidence was fussy over her hair.

Finally we were all dressed. We were to all stand in the ballroom and wait for our guests. People began to fill the large room. I saw many familiar men. Peggy found her beau and Angelica started up a conversation with the "disreputable" Aaron Burr. I knew she was not attracted to him but they always were talking, most likely debating politics. I scanned the room again and to no avail.

I decided to walk towards Angelica. Perhaps I could spend my time being enlightened by those two, but most likely not. As I turned and started walking I felt a hand gently grabbed my shoulder. I turned around about to shoo whoever touched me when I saw him.

"Alexander!" I said my eyes wetting.

"Eliza," he said his voice matching my amazement.

"You're alive!" I surprisingly began to cry.

"Now now, no tears." He handed me his handkerchief and I dabbed at my eyes.

"I thought you had passed."

"I thought I would too. I do apologize for the absence of letter. I am sure that did not help."

"That is of little importance now," I beamed.

He took my hands then and brought me closer to him. These actions seemed to imply we were quite close in reality our last real conversation was only maybe a 30 minutes in total. But it seemed I knew him, if only for his letters.

"I can't believe you are here! I was so worried," I gasped.

"Neither can I," Alexander said leading me to some chairs so that we might sit. He pulled out the seat for me and sat. These actions seemed so perfect as though we had rehearsed it. It already felt like a confortable gesture and not a formality I sat through like many men who fancied me. Being a Schuyler meant men could not stop courting us and by consequence every encounter felt forced.

"How I missed you!" he said looking me in the eyes.

"I missed you so much, your letters were all that kept me sane these many weeks," I smiled.

"During the frightful winter, the only warmth came from your letters and I cannot imagine how I could have possible made it through," he replied, "but I shall not darken this occasion with my experiences. I wish to spend this time with you in the moment."

"Yes without past or future," I replied hardly knowing what I was sating.

"How poetic," he said.

I was sitting in utter awe; this night was going better then expected.

"So pardon my forwardness but where does your come from?" I asked. I detected a slight accent.

"Unimportant really," he said. I noticed how he averted this question and didn't pry further. All secrets reveal themselves.

"My past is of little importance. The future is where I seek. There in the future there are a million things I haven't done. Just you wait! Just you wait Eliza, you will be there too," he said. I noticed how he had said I would be there. It was touching that he saw me in this ambitious future.

"So what do you do? I know you are a soldier and General Washington's secretary but what else," I asked.

"I rise up. I wished for a war, I knew it was the only way for me to rise up and make anything from myself. I do not profess any single career but I do seek to forge ahead to better things," he said looking at me, "That I am sure sound foolish." He blushed then.

"No, no. You seem to have a goal and that is something most men do not have and yet run into the future head long," I replied.

"Oh Eliza, your words!" Alexander said smiling, "never have I heard a woman with such beautiful language."

Then my sister came up to us.

"Except perhaps your sister," he smiled.

"What about me?" Angelica inquired.

"I was just saying how you Schuyler's have such a grasp for poetic words," he said kissing her hand.

"Flattery," Angelica scoffed but she did blush.

That night was magical. After Angelica had finished a brief conversation about Voltaire with Alexander she left us. In my ear she whispered, "What a mind at work indeed."

"May I have this dance Miss Schuyler?" he said rising from his chair and slightly bowing.

"You may Mr. Hamilton," I replied. It was charming at the lengths Alexander went to prove he was a gentleman.

He took my hand and we began to waltz. Around and around the room we went the golden light illuminating Alexander's brown eyes.

When the too short song ended he let a faint kiss brush my cheek.

"Sir, that is most improper," I said teasing a little.

"You are right. It only seems we have known each other since time immemorial," he said.

The next dance began and again he asked me to dance with him, which I obliged. This dance was more lively and so whilst dancing we talked.

"I seems my comrade Mr. John Laurens has taken a fancy to you lovely sister Peggy," he mused.

"It seems my sister has taken a liking to your comrade as well," I said.

It was true. I had not seen Peggy alone all evening. For once Peggy and I were the ones dancing and not Angelica.

"May I say you look lovely," Alexander said guiding me in the dance.

"Thank you though you are flattering. I am dressed no better then anyone here," I said graciously.

"Not because of your attire, though quite pretty. You are," he said not looking me in the eye this time. He was blushing a bit.

I felt so helpless. This felicity left me without a thought in my head. I did not even notice when the dance ended and Alexander had to pull me into him to get me to stop.

The night's end was drawing near and every time the clock sounded another new hour, I was more saddened. I hadn't been in the company of Alexander for so long that now I could not imagine him leaving.

"Adieu," Alexander said when he left.

"Adieu monsieur," I replied. It had been established we were both versed in French.

"I hope now that I am not so far, our letters will not cease," he murmured.

"Never."

That evening as my sisters and I were getting ready for bed we discussed that night.

"Oh John Laurens is so sweet," Peggy said as she was brushing her hair.

"You two did look content," I said picking the pins out of my hair.

"And I saw another couple looking quite content," Angelica said looking in my direction. I felt her gaze without turning. My sisters and I had that keen ability.

"To see Alexander was not dead or missing was such a relief."

"Angelica did you have a good time?"

"It was alright Peggy. I was mostly skirting from on conversation to another. I was avoiding a gentleman who I had courted a while back. I do not think I could get caught in a one sided conversation about how he would make a "good" husband," she sighed.

"I do wish you found someone that does not make you irritable," Peggy said coming over to hug Angelica.

"Someday perhaps. Eliza I have some good news. Burr told me that Alexander would be stationed in New York for a few months."

"The Aaron Burr that you said was disreputable?"

"Yes Eliza that one."

"That is good news indeed!" I squealed. This made me so happy. I would see him more if permitted.

Could it be too much to hope if I could court him? Could it be too much to wish for him to propose? I was being foolish again, one moment at a time. How could I wish to be his wife when we have not spent more then 12 collective hours with him? I hoped his wouldn't disappoint me and be a beast or boring. The mere thought of spending eternity or even another few hours would be bliss.


	4. Yes

I saw Alexander quite soon after that evening. In fact we saw each other rather regularly but I never tired to see him and him to say, "Hello Eliza." He apparently became acquainted with my father due to General George Washington. It was made apparent that, "This Mr. Hamilton is quite welcome here," according to my father. This was quite a nice arrangement.

Alexander did not just visit me. He visited with Angelica to discuss various authors and the politics. I saw how Alexander got so excited people in the house had to tell him to be quieter. Angelica finally found someone who shared her views.

"…it clearly says ' _All_ men are created equal'. If I should meet Mr. Jefferson I would have some words about including women in future works." I heard Angelica voice during one conversation.

"I agree."

He also had many conversations with Peggy but I haven't the slightest clue to what they talked about. Peggy was happier after their chats. I had asked her if she fancied Alexander once after a particular conversation where she seemed lighter. She denied saying he was just a good conversationalist.

So when Alexander showed up at our doorstep, it was not considered improper. I quite liked this more causal visiting though I never visited him. But thought they were more casual I never met him without out looking my best. I had never liked to brush my dark hair but when he came, I brushed my hair so it would shine.

"Miss Schuyler," Alexander said bowing and bringing forth a bouquet.

"Hello Mr. Hamilton. No need for such formalities." I curtseyed to mirror his bow.

"I wish to! As a woman of your status I must, I am a lowly servant at your service," he bowed again. As he raised his head he was smiling. I was smiling now.

"Alexander these are quite lovely," I said and I noticed the red rash on his hand.

"Where did you get these?"

"I picked them near where I am staying. A large field with the loveliest flowers that made me think of you," he said trying to hand the bouquet to me.

"My dear you seem to have stinging nettle in that bouquet and it seems to be giving you quite a rash," I pointed.

"Ah so that is what hurts, I thought I had merely scrapped it. Now that you mention it is quite painful," he intoned while picking the nettle out.

"Come in sir and I will see what I can do," I smiled accepting the bouquet at last.

As we crossed the foyer into the parlor Peggy crossed us and saw the state Alexander was in.

"Nettle?"

"Yes. See I told you floral arranging classes were useful!"

"No, I just have been stomping around in fields long enough to know what stinging nettle looks like," Peggy replied, "I shall go fetch some bandages and salve."

"I can see why my friend John enjoys talking to your Peggy," Alexander said sitting at the small table.

"How so?"

"He says she is direct and I see that is true. John is always going on about how no one says what they mean."

"She is direct," I said fondly.

"Here we are!" Peggy returned with the box of bandages and an assortment of lotions.

"Thank you Peggy," we both said at the same time.

"You are both welcome." Peggy turned and left. She knew I wanted to have private chat and obliged. All of us had a keen sense of what each other wanted or was feeling.

"Let's get you fixed up." His hand was very red and had some bumps. He clearly touched a lot of the plant and had not noticed the sting until it was this bad.

In a few minutes I had cleaned and bandaged his hand. I couldn't help but notice Alexander wasn't looking at what I was doing but at my face. He was smiling a bit the whole time and I became very self-conscious.

"Done."

"Thank you, it feels much better."

"So what brings you to our abode?"

"Today? Well, today I come on the most important business."

I looked down. I had hoped this would be a lighthearted business free affair but one cannot keep the sun from rising so I must face this.

"Do you remember that letter I sent you many a month a ago detailing my regret for not attending your birthday?"

"Yes?"

"Today is of importance because I wish to rectify this! I have brought you a very late birthday gift," he said with a grand gesture.

"You mustn't. My birthday is of no real importance and besides being with you is gift enough for a life time," I blushed. When blushing I turned an unsightly pink color, my bluish was almost the same color as Angelica's ball gown she wore when I first met Alexander.

"I must give you something! If not for a birthday gift but to repay you for the kindness you have done me in knowing you," he continued nonplussed.

With his good hand he produced a thin box. The box had no ribbon and the box seems quite battered but I accepted the box inside a splendid fan.

"Alexander this is too much! I must return such a beautiful gift," I said opening the fan. The fan was a light blue with white and pink peonies. The image on the fan displayed a lovely garden. I placed the fan back in the box and made to hand it back.

"This is mere tuppence!" Alexander beamed.

"But how did you get this? If I am correct this is a French fan. You haven't been to France so much as you told me," I inquired.

"It was not hard. I wish I had worked harder to bring you this gift. I have a friend named Lafayette and he is a French ally. Lafayette had one brought over on my request," Alexander continued.

"It is so beautiful." I opened and closed the fan; the brilliant colors so vivid it was like the flowers were real. I gave the fan a slight wave and I felt like royalty.

"Its beauty pales in comparison to the one who wields it," he uttered with finality.

Over the next weeks that stretched into summer more gifts came. Gifts not only for myself but my sisters. Gifts like a pair of silk slippers or books did not come cheap and yet these gifts came. Angelica and Alexander had taken to borrowing books from each other. Peggy received gifts from John Laurens through Alexander. It seemed John did not have such freedoms in seeing Peggy as I did with Alexander.

"Alexander you really must stop. One does not have a bottomless bank account after all," I scolded.

"You are correct. I may not be the richest man in the colonies but I must certainty try for you."

I wondered where his wealth came from. I hoped it did not come from draining his meager military salary. He had told me some weeks before that he was from a poor family in the British West Indies. Nevis he had said. I had learned he went to war to try and establish a legacy. I had bemoaned that he was a poor man and that he should not be with her, a lady of fine upbringing. But Alexander had gained a reputation with Washington and so it was overlooked he was not of wealth.

But one day to my shock he came bearing one final gift.

"Elizabeth Schuyler, I realize you wish the gifts to cease. I shall respect that after this final one," he said withdrawing a ring from his pocket.

I gasped. Could it be?

"Eliza you are a gift in my life. Without your presence in my life I think I should have perished last winter. When I saw you for the first time I knew you were not just a privileged fool. I knew you were worth more then the anything God has given us," he paused catching his breath, "Elizabeth Schuyler if your father consents, will you marry me?"

The world stood still. I was helpless. This was what I wanted and to have it now seemed all too perfect.

"Yes! Yes I will be your wife!"

He slipped the ring on my finger. It was nothing to big nor flashy, it was a simple yet lovely ring.

Looking at the ring I said with tears in my eyes, "When shall you speak to my father?"

"I arranged to speak with him tomorrow evening," he said wiping my tears with his thumb.

When Alexander left I was still crying tears of pure joy. I walked back to my chambers and my sisters were inside. They must have heard the whole ordeal.

"Eliza!" Peggy said, "Congratulations!" Peggy came over and embraced me. Angelica came over ask well but she seemed hesitant.

"I cannot believe this! Did you know?" I asked finally drying my tears.

"We had a good idea," Angelica tightly smiled.

"But this is foolish. He hasn't asked father yet. Father could very well reject this proposal. I do not think I could live if I knew I couldn't be with Alexander," I worried.

"Father is not cruel nor a fool. He will do the most best and most rational thing. I cannot think for the life of me why he would say no," Angelica said holding my hand and looking me in the eye. She always did that when I was worried. Angelica was right, father wouldn't say no for no reason.

"How will you keep this from father until tomorrow evening?" Peggy pondered.

It was decided I would stay out of the view of my father was quite easy during the day and in the evening I would act as usual. I doubt father would have been angry if he found out sooner but it was customary to ask the girl's father for permission before proposing to the girl, and what Alexander did wasn't the usual course.

I saw that Angelica was very quiet the rest of the day. When I asked her if she was alright she said, "Yes Eliza. I must be."

I did not know what Angelica was thinking but she retired early. But my elation and worries flooded my mind in her absence. Angelica always kept me calm and rational, but with her gone earlier my mind started fretting earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for such lovely support! I like to think Alexander established a friendship with all of the sisters. Wouldn't you? I wanted to show Angelica's lingering feelings for Alexander. I do not think, knowing her sisters, that her feeling would have gone unnoticed. Yes I know weddings proposals were very different back then but I am only going off of the musical cannon. Historical inaccuracies aside please enjoy!


	5. Blessings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be a long author note, apologies. These two "stories" I felt weren't warranting of two separate updates, so I have combined them into one chapter/ update. I know weddings took a while to plan and that wedding gowns weren't necessarily white but a girl can fantasize right? I rushed the process of the wedding because I want to get to the good character moments. This wedding is very reflective of modern western weddings so ignore historical inaccuracies. I am half going off of the musical and half my own brain. Of course Hercules Mulligan wasn't the flower girl but in show clips he is so I am going with that idea because it is adorable! I did use direct lyrics but changed them to 1) fit more in with the language of the time and 2) be creative. All characters look, sound and dress like the actors unless otherwise mentioned. Enjoy!

We were all sitting in the living room, my father, Alexander, Angelica, Peggy and myself all expressing different emotions and in various states of stress. My father was stone faced and listening to Alexander asking him if he could marry me. My father was the perfect master of his emotions. His hand resting on his chin and leaning forward only conveyed he was listening. Alexander looked the part of a gentleman but sounded different. Alexander stood at military attention but his voice expressed wild enthusiasm and loudness not common in a perfect gentleman of society. His voice slipped into his accent from the West Indies. He usually spoke like any another colonist but when he was excited and forgot himself I could see his true self, peek through.

Angelica wasn't looking it the conversation, she was looking at the ground and rubbing the cross she wore. She seemed more distant lately but perhaps she had the same nerves as me. Peggy was fiddling with her hands. Peggy seemed restless. Perhaps it was due to the occasion or maybe it was just because she was sitting still in silence.

My mind was so busy thinking out all of the outcomes that I barely heard the conversation I head snippets like, "Sir it is true I am not a rich man" and "No sir I do not intend to leave the employ of General Washington once the war ends if he permits it."

I hoped I would have the grace to accept father's refusal. I would simply be calm and let Alexander go. I could see how father would say no. Alexander was poor by all accounts and was not of notable birth. Alexander was not going to bring me up in status, which is what parents wanted for their daughters.

Then Angelica grasped my arm. I saw my father get up from his large armchair and walk over to Alexander.

"Mr. Hamilton, if what you say is true and you're a man of your word, I give my blessing for you to marry my Elizabeth if she will have you. But if I should hear one word of unhappiness from my darling, you shall rue this day. Are we quite understood?" my father said in a solemn voice.

"Yes! Yes Master Schuyler!" Alexander gasped. He must have thought he didn't have a chance in receiving my fathers blessing. He shook my fathers hand a little too long before my father good-naturedly let go.

"Elizabeth he is a fine young man," my father said beckoning me to come over. He embraced me and looked me in the eye. He looked happy for me and sad that he was letting me go.

"Thank you father!"

I embraced Alexander. I gasped him so hard because I thought I might fly away from happiness. He was clearly wearing some cologne I have given him and the smell now meant he was mine and this moment could happen every time we embraced.

After I let go Angelica embraced him followed by Peggy who he spun around at arms length. He looked so elated that he was doing it in every way he could. Thankfully my father had left the room when he broke into a slight dance of elation. The dance seemed random and silly but he looked so happy. Angelica and I were embracing now. My eyes were closed so that I might remember this moment forever. Peggy let out a small squeal of excitement.

The wedding was set and had been planned. Tomorrow was the day. It was to be a fairly simple wedding as the war was still happening. We chose nothing to extravagant in part because of the cost and in part because I didn't need anything too fancy. I was never one for large displays of wealth or affection. I am shy and do not like everyone looking at me as Angelica and Peggy do. I was always worried people would notice everything wrong.

My side of the church would be quite full. Each row filled with aunts, uncles and grandparents. I envied Alexander, he knew and was close with everyone who filled his solitary row. He had all of his war friends, whom I had met and found very charming. We had his friend Hercules Mulligan be the flower girl. It was meant to be a joke but when we joked he said, "No I am serious. I will be the flower girl if you wish!"

We had frantically tried to recant our statement and he said, "Nonsense! I will do it for my favorite man and his lovely bride!"

But this arrangement pleased all of us. I my sisters were my maids of honor and Alexander had John and Lafayette. But it seemed Alexander was more nervous for the wedding. I saw him flit about making sure the flowers were all perfect. He planned most of the wedding since I did not have a particular style I liked. I had simply said blue and white and that I liked peonies. He told me he wanted things perfect for me but I secretly thought it was to justify to himself he wasn't a street rat who had no taste. He seemed to be doing a lot of proving himself to my family and me.

Angelica would have been micromanaging her wedding. She knew what she liked and went with it. Peggy would love planning her wedding; she would be very meticulous and self-conscience about the color combinations. But I simply wanted to be married as quickly as possible so I could be with Alexander without being watched every second. I could not wait for long candid conversations or being close to him.

My sister Angelica quite enjoyed planning the meals. I told her nothing with tripe and she planned an exquisite meal. I could hardly wait for tomorrow night's meal. But I could not eat anything all day; I was filled with nerves. I was most worried about my dress fitting.

"Angelica do you mind doing one more dress fitting? I just want to make sure it fits and everything is sorted," I said as she was consulting the cooks. They were discussing if they needed to add more salt to a soup. The meal was so large that they had to begin cooking the day before. I felt a little guilty that I should have such a meal while many did not.

"Eliza your dress is lovely and fits. But if it would ease your nerves some, then of course. Give me a moment. Grab Peggy and you two start," she smiled.

I grabbed Peggy from the parlor where she was talking with John Laurens. My father had graciously allowed Alexander's guests to stay in our home. Since he had less then a dozen guests it did not make sense to house them elsewhere especially since they were soldiers and we had enough rooms. Peggy was pleased by this since she was not afforded the same luxuries of being with John as I did with Alexander. Father said she was too young to get caught up in courting and that next year she could.

Peggy sighed when I explained to her what we were doing. I knew all she wanted was to be with John. Peggy had cleverly told father that she wanted to help with the wedding and she snuck away to "fold" napkins in a place John happened to be most of the time.

I stood on the small stood as Peggy helped smooth the edges. My dress was a light blue almost white color, long sleeved and a simple veil. It was quite simple, given my families status. My aunts had fussed that they had dresses with train a couple of feet behind them and that their veils were silk with diamonds. But I brushed their concerns away. It was my wedding after all and they had Peggy and Angelica to fuss over during their weddings. Two more weddings to be more extravagantly planned would surely make up for my humble one.

"You look absolutely lovely!" Peggy squealed.

"Are you sure? Does the hem look even?"

"Don't fret! I stitched the hem myself," Angelica said coming into the room. Angelica despite hating embroidery and sewing was very good at it. My sisters and I all worked on my dress. They had offered to do make the dress as a wedding gift and I could not imagine anyone else doing a better job.

"You look like a princess!" Peggy sighed. She was fluffing my veil so it billowed up before falling gently down like snow.

"Oh I have a gift!" Angelica said bolting off.

When she returned I said, "I told you no gifts! This dress is gift enough and besides you and Peggy are the greatest gifts!"

She put a finger to my lips and revealed a box. Inside was a pair of lovely pearl drop earrings.

"No! I couldn't accept!" I gasped. These earrings had been given to Angelica by our grandmother whom we all loved. As a child I had been jealous Anglica had received the best jewelry and I was left with a necklace with a rusty cross.

"Yes I insist. She said it was to go to the one who had a kind heart. She said I was kind but she was very wrong. Eliza you are one of the kindest people, far kinder then I. So you deserve these!" Angelica said closing my hands aground the box and pushing them towards me.

I put them on and they were lovely. Peggy was lost in daydreams of princesses.

"When I get married I want my wedding to be just like yours," Peggy said.

"Peggy you do what you want. Do what you and John want," I teased. She thought she was private about her love for John but we all knew.

"Pshh!" she said batting the comment away.

That night I was a mess, sleeping was impossible. I tossed and turned. But I heard something and I turned. I noticed a folded sheet of paper was suddenly on the floor when there had not been a minute ago. It must have been pushed under the door crack. Cautiously I got up and took the paper, I noticed it was a letter. It was dark in my room so I went out into the hall where the candles were still burning. I saw on the clock it was 1:30 am. I knew no one would be up so I sat down in the hall to read it. If anyone should see me it would be improper but I was sure no one would see me.

I opened the letter and read:

_Dearest Elizabeth,_

_This is to be my last letter before we are to be married. If you are awakened when this is delivered I apologize. Secondly I had a friend deliver it as to not see you before the wedding. I hear it is bad luck and I shall not have bad luck on such a perfect wedding. Eliza I cannot imagine not seeing you but am eager to be with you for eternity. I never had anyone until you._

_Eliza, I don't have a dollar to my name an acre of land, a troop to command, a dollop of fame. All I have's my honor, a tolerance for pain, a couple of college credits and my top-notch brain. It is insane; your family brings out a different side of me. I've been living without a family since I was a child. My father left, my mother died, I grew up alone. And long as I'm alive, Eliza, swear to God you'll never feel so… helpless._

_These are my vows to you. I know we did not write vows but I wanted to vow something to you and you alone. I wanted a private promise only for us. I know I am not what some in your family consider a proper spouse and I wish to please them as much as I can by acting as though I am not what I have previously mentioned. But know when I say, "I do" tomorrow I am agreeing to what the priest is saying and what I confess now._

_With Love Now and Always,_

_Alexander_

I held the letter to my chest as if it were the first letter I ever received from him. His words made me feel so helpless.

His words were true. I had become the gossip for marrying someone from an unknown family. People tutted that I shouldn't be marrying someone like him. Family had told me I was making a mistake. Neighbors told me I was too good for him. People who had no business pried in to try and "correct" me. But I pushed those words away. For once in my life I could ignore people's judgments and focus on what made me truly happy. With Alexander nothing was wrong.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for such a late update! I have begun the wonder transition to university and have been kept busy! The song Suddenly from Les Miserables 2012 has been reworked for purposes because I feel it can be applied to almost every situation. There is a brief bit of content of the sexual nature. Nothing graphic but if it offends you then look away. Again all characters look and sound like the original Broadway cast. Ignore any spelling or historical accuracies, I have done my best to workshop and fix it these last few weeks. Thank you for your support and stay tuned for more stories. Story suggestions always welcome!

“Wake up soon to be Elizabeth Hamilton!” Peggy screamed as she hopped onto my bed.

 

I must have fallen asleep once I had returned to my room. I noticed I was still clutching Alexander’s letter and quickly folded it and shoved it far under my covers. I felt this letter was meant just for us.

 

“Peggy!” I gasped in surprise. She used to do this as children especially around Christmas. She would wake me up and then we would tip toe to Angelica’s room and do the same thing.

 

“It’s your wedding day! Up, up, up!” Angelica said. I hadn’t noticed but she had joined Peggy in this ritual. I would miss this. Our silly antics, our jokes and our shared times were now things of the past. I knew I would see my sisters often since Alexander and I were staying in New York but I knew many who lost their friends once they got married. I hoped being sisters, this friendship wouldn’t change.

 

“Only 6 hours!” Peggy squealed. I saw the clock. It was 9 am. The wedding was to be at 3, dinner and reception until 7. After that Alexander and I were to depart to a country house General George Washington had graciously allowed us to stay for the week.

 

We had both declined saying it wasn’t our place to just move in but he responded good naturedly, “Nonsense! That house lies empty more then 10 months a year. Martha and I want you to stay there! ‘Tis only a week and if you like you are welcome to it again if it suits you.”

 

“But sir!” Alexander said.

 

“I insist! It is the least I could do for my right hand man and his lovely fiancée!”

 

So we accepted. I was quite excited now. The journey would take roughly 2 hours but that was time I could spend with Alexander properly alone.

 

“Up!” Angelica said. I was now sitting up and had been daydreaming.

 

I got up and from that moment I had barely time to breath. Angelica was trying to make me eat various things.

 

“I won’t have you passing out during you wedding!” she said pushing a bun toward me while Peggy was trying to put makeup on me.

 

“Angelica, I’m a little occupied,” I said just as Peggy came in with lip color. My sudden movements made Peggy lose concentration and a line of faint pink color was over my chin.

 

“See what you’ve done,” Peggy said wiping off the color.

 

“You’re right, we are bombarding her. But Betsey love, please try to eat something,” Angelica said backing off of the food and moving to my hair.

 

“I’ll eat later,” I said briskly.

 

“Tsk, tsk,” came Angelica’s usual sound of disapproval

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

It was time. We had arrived at the church and I was now standing next to my father. Peggy and John had already walked down followed by Angelica and Lafayette. Hercules followed throwing rose petals and smiling. At least someone didn’t have nerves. I looked behind the doorframe and saw Alexander wringing his hands and awkwardly smiling at Hercules. Hercules good-naturedly threw a rose petal at Alexander as if to tell him to stop worrying. Alexander flicked it back at him to tell him thanks. It seemed Alexander and his friends were like his brothers.

 

“Ready Betsey?” my father asked.

 

I jerked my head back and I nodded. I could see my father was sad to give me away.

 

“Betsey are you ready? You know I would put an end to all of this if you wished. I wouldn’t be angry dearest,” my father said grasping my hand a bit firmer.

 

“I’m sure.” I wasn’t. My nerves were too much. It wasn’t the fact of marrying Alexander but I wasn’t sure. My father noticed my apprehension and beckoned Angelica to come back.

 

Angelica quickly walked to me and pulled me aside.

 

“I’m sorry for holding up the wedding…” I stammered.

 

“Shh. Shh,” she said holding my head to her chest and rubbing my back.

 

“What if I am jumping in too early?”

 

“Nonsense. Eliza you know I would never lie to you, so listen well. Alexander is the right man. You two deserve each other; I knew you were meant to be with him from the very first moment you two saw each other. But I am not you. If you truly think this is not the right course of action, I would not blame you for waiting. Understood?”

 

“You’re right. You are so good to me,” I said straightening up.

 

“I love you more then anything in this life. I wouldn’t be here encouraging you if I didn’t think it was the right choice,” she said pulling away. She kissed me on the cheek and walked back to her place.

 

Angelica knew just what to say. I gripped my father’s arm and we walked out. Everyone stood. Everyone smiles. I knew this was the right thing.

 

Alexander stood still for perhaps the first moment I had ever seen him. He was always jostling or tapping something, but now he stood straight and confident.

 

We exchanged vows and rings. When he slid the ring on my finger I noticed his hands were a bit shaky. I calmed me to know Alexander was not completely over his bout of nerves.

 

“I now pronounce you man and wife.”

 

Alexander lifted my veil and I saw him for the first time properly in nearly two days. I did not realize how I had missed him. But his dark eyes were glistening and as we kissed for the first time as a couple I couldn’t hear the organ music or the light clapping. I could only hear Alexander’s breathing and his touch as he pulled me closer.

 

“Elizabeth Hamilton. I am the luckiest man,” he said when we finally broke apart.

 

“Alexander Hamilton I am the luckiest girl.”

 

The reception was so lovely. At one point John stood on a table and tapped his wine glass.

 

“Alright, alright.  That’s what I’m talkin’ about! Now everyone give it up for the maid of honor, Angelica Schuyler!”

 

 _What is she going to do?_ Angelica rose from her chair and cleared her throat. “A toast to the groom!” everyone cheered, “To the groom!”

 

“To the bride!” she continued and again a chorus responded, “To the bride!”

 

“From your sister, who is always by your side.  To your union, and the hope that you provide,” she said nodding towards Alexander.

 

“May you always... be satisfied.” She paused then. She got a far off look as if she were thinking. “To the best marriage anyone could have,” she finished.

 

We all clinked glasses with those next to us. Angelica was always so thoughtful.

 

Dinner was served a few minutes late. It was simply the best meal I could share with Alexander. Alexander looked as if he had never had such decadence. He took a whole minute to just sit there and stare at his plate. I took his fork and with a piece of fish pushed it towards his mouth. When it touched he came back from where ever he was an accepted the bite with a smile.

 

“What were you thinking about?”

 

“Just how lucky I am to be alive right now and to have you,” he grinned.

 

“Well don’t forget to eat!”

 

The gifts were more then I could ask for. Each gift was gorgeous and what I never imagined being given.

 

Aaron Burr even sent a gift despite not attending the wedding.

 

_Many regrets I could not attend such a glorious day._

The gift was exactly what Alexander expected Burr to send. A set of law books.

 

Soon it came time to leave. Our carriage had arrived and we were ushered out. Everyone wished us well.

 

“Have fun!” my sisters whispered into my ear.

 

Alexander helped me into the carriage and he settled in beside me. As we heard the crack of the whip we were off. We waved as we became farther and farter away. Suddenly I had a thought.

 

“Alexander we don’t have any bags or trunks of clothing with us. I can’t wear this wedding dress the entire week…”

 

“I took care of it! I went out yesterday night to drop off our clothing and necessities. Don’t worry love,” he said kissing me again.

 

“You mean to say?”

 

“I left here with my friends to have one last drink and then departed to make sure everything was set for when we arrived. With help from your sisters of course,” he smiled.

 

“You were out at night nearly four hours just to get ready for tonight? Alexander you shouldn’t have! We could have unpacked,” I stammered.

 

“We could have but why should I make my Eliza fret about such simple matters. Four hours is nothing in comparison to our life together,” he smiled.

 

I then leaned my head against his shoulder. The rocking of the carriage was so calming. I closed my eyes. I then heard Alexander reciting something in my ear.

 

“Yesterday I was alone today you walk beside me. Something still unclear, something not yet here has begun. Suddenly the world seems a different place, somehow full of grace, full of light. How was I to know at last that happiness can come so fast? Trusting me the way you do. I’m so afraid of failing you. Just my Eliza whom cannot know that danger followed where I went, there are shadows everywhere and memories I cannot share. Nevermore alone. Nevermore apart. You have warmed my heart like the sun. You have brought the gift of life and love so long denied me. Suddenly I see what I could not see something suddenly has begun.”

 

I must have fallen asleep because Alexander was whispering to me, “Love, we’re here.”

 

I sat up and stretched. I had not meant to fall asleep, but I was just so content how could it not happen. I had meant to spend the time talking with Alexander but I suppose the stress from the past weeks finally washed away. His poem was so lovely that I turned and kissed him on his cheek.

 

I made to get out but Alexander waggled his finger at me. He got out and came to open my door.

 

“I won’t have my Eliza getting her dress muddy,” he said picking me up in his arms. I saw the ground was damp and a fresh earthy smell filled my nostrils.

 

I noticed this country home was quite large. My family had a country home but it was smaller. I loved the country because it did not smell of sewage and rotting trash. I remember the fun I used to have with my sisters running about in the tall grasses.

 

He carried me easily and flung the door open.

 

“This house is lovely! You must give me the address of George and Martha, I must thank them again,” I said reveling in the house.

 

There was just enough light so Alexander could light a match and go around and light the surrounding candles. The candles were all lit and it felt cozy.

 

“You must be exhausted, we should retire,” he said examining my face.

 

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly be tired. Not after my little nap,” I smiled.

 

“Well, I suppose you will want to freshen up then,” he said holding his arm out for me to take.

 

He led me upstairs and into the master bedroom and began lighting candles and lamps. The room was large and well furnished.

 

“Martha certainly has a eye for decoration,” I said.

 

“Yes but there was one thing she didn’t have to make this house perfect,” he paused and then turned to me, “You.”

 

How did everything he said to me made me melt? I then walked to the large mirror and began to work at the pins tangled in my hair.

 

“Stop.”

 

I did and he pulled as chair out for me to sit on. I tried to resume my hunt for the pins but he shooed my hands away and he gently took the pins out. Slowly sections of my dark hair fell back into place. Angelica always being prepared had secured my hair with extra pins and other unnecessary gadgets. As he removed the veil my head felt lighter and my head stopped hurting.

 

“Ahhhh,” I sighed in relief.

 

“78 pins,” he exclaimed, “I will never understand this witchcraft.”

 

I was surprised as well. He began to brush my hair but he was brushing it like a horses mane, yanking and tugging.

 

“Love, I am not a horse. Do allow me,” I said taking the hairbrush from him. He laughed apologetically.

 

I expected him to move around or occupy himself but he simply stood behind me smiling. For the second time he stood motionless and then he realized he what he was doing, “I apologize for staring.”

 

“No don’t. I think it’s sweet.”

 

When I was done I got up to start freeing myself from my wedding dress. I went behind the screen in the corner to change.

 

_I know we’re married, but can I just change in front of him or do I not? I wish someone told me what to do in this instance._

I realized then there was no hope of getting out of my dress without help. Normally Angelica and Peggy would be there but this time I was alone.

 

“Alexander?” I called from behind the screen.

 

“Yes?”

 

“I could very much use some assistance,” I said sheepishly.

 

Without pause he came behind the screen and began to do the back of my dress. I thought I should feel some embarrassment but I didn’t.

 

Suddenly I was down to my underwear and felt self-conscious suddenly. I turned around to him and he looked concerned.

 

“Eliza, what’s wrong you’re all red,” he said brushing my cheek.

 

“Quite fine. Just nervous I guess.”

 

“Nervous?”

 

“I am standing here I front of you in my underwear,” I gestured to my current attire.

 

“Oh. Right. Of course. I think I forgot because I was just thinking about tonight,” he said looking down then.

 

He nimbly began to undo the laces of my stays.

 

“How do you wear this contraption,” he grunted.

 

“I will never know,” I giggled a bit.

 

Finally the laces were simply cut and I could finally breath. I had been uneasy about my dress fitting and had my stays extra tight. I realized that was grossly unnecessary and with the large meal, was probably a mistake.

 

I began to remove my stockings and felt the cool night air on my calves. Alexander seemed thoroughly enraptured in what I was doing because I was standing in my shift before he even started work on his night routine.

 

But he was undressed in nearly a quarter of the time it took me. I returned from the next room after washing my face to find Alexander in only a nightshirt. I was in my usual nightgown and was incredibly self-conscious. I never noticed how thin the material was or the low neckline. My sisters were the only one’s who saw me like this. It now dawned on me why Angelica offered to make me a new nightgown. I had brushed her off saying it was a waste of fabric in wartime and that I wouldn’t care around Alexander. I was wrong.

 

“Eliza, ready for bed?” he said coming over to me.

 

I nodded and he scooped me up into his arms. I noticed he had turned down the bed and he placed me on the white sheets.

 

He lay down beside me and turned to me propping himself on one shoulder.

 

“Eliza, we don’t have to,” he said nervously.

 

“We must it’s our duty as bride and groom,” I replied. I had read books that said a man and wife must lie together or their marriage was not official.

 

“No Eliza. I just want to make sure you are happy. I try so hard to do right by you,” Alexander said taking his hand and gently brushing my face.

 

I moved closer to kiss him, “I want to.”

 

This is the one thing Angelica had never done, the one thing she knew nothing about and so I was in a new territory I was unfamiliar with. He started to move my dress up and I felt my soul take flight.

 

Alexander kissed me again and I was helpless. The whole world ceased to exist and now it was just us.

 

Soon he was on top me and I was holding my breath in anticipation.

 

“God Betsey I love you so much. I love you, I love you, I love you,” he said as he began to make love.

 

I was no longer seeing Alexander Hamilton, I was seeing the man I loved. A feeling I had never felt bubbled up in me. I felt I was losing all control, I felt like a caged animal set free. I moaned and Alexander was sighing deeply. I feared Britain could hear us.

 

We finished, both breathing heavily and content.

 

“Betsey I hope that was not horrible. The guys said… I mean a book said it can hurt,” he whispered.

 

“At first. A little, but you made me feel so good. I feel sinful,” I blushed. I felt a little guilty I should feel this good.

 

“No nothing you can do is sinful my angel,” he said kissing me once more.

 

“Look at where we started. You a young soldier, me, a simple girl with two sisters,” I whispered, “I can’t believe we are here.”

 

“I didn’t think I could ever be where I am now. I always thought I was doomed to be alone and unhappy. I always thought I would be dead by now. But now I couldn’t image anything else,” he said gazing at me. I could never get sick of his gaze. He looked at me as if I was the only thing that mattered.

 

“We have our narrative. We are a new chapter in our story,” I said smiling.

 

“I hope someone reads this story then, if only for you,” he said.

 

Sometime later Alexander was asleep and was facing me. He was so strange this man. He wasn’t like anyone I knew. I always thought I would marry some planation owner and move to the country. No, I could see we were going somewhere new. I turned over and went to sleep. Alexander must not have been completely asleep because he reached over me and brought me closer in a protective embrace.

 

Satisfied.


End file.
